Sadness is On Me

In Irish when you talk about emotion, you don’t say, “I am sad.”

You’d say, “Sadness is on me – Ta bron orm”

I love this expression, it means that I am “sad” for a little while, I don’t become the emotion, however I acknowledge it, tomorrow or the day after another emotion will be on me, like joy or happiness.

I have been feeling sad for a little while.

The weight of our inhumanity towards each other, the hardness, harshness and ugliness of the world is just so overwhelming at times.

Whilst writing and reflecting on my contribution to the Herald’s Church and the Community Column, our brief was to address the role and influence of the church in our society, with particular focus on the upcoming elections, for instance addressing the dismal performance of an inept government adequately!  In my opinion that the church has failed in that we have remained silent.  Not only sadness on me…I am outraged!

In my daily discourse with different folk, I have became so aware of many issues affecting and influencing our day to day existence. 

Apart from the wanton greed, looting and corruption we are confronted with on a daily basis, there is the meanness and ugliness of patriarchy.  I am so outraged that in this day and age, women, young and old are groomed into believing that because of their gender, they should think differently to boys and men, in that they are nurturers and homemakers. When are we going to stop this and when are women going to push back really hard, stating “enough is enough”. I am raging mad.

Sitting at my desk, staring out of the window, contemplating my outrage as well as grieving the sudden death of an acquaintance, (please do not underestimate this new strain of influenza), I came to the realisation that I just had to get out of town for a few days.  George, recently recovering from pneumonia agreed that we need both needed the restorative clear fresh air of the Karoo.

After making a reservation at Casa Milorca  (a lovely guest house owned by our neighbours) in Prince Albert, we headed off on a slow drive.

A word of caution, if you ever want to travel with us, please bear in mind that we take our time, stopping often to admire the view,  the flowers, the shape of the clouds or just to take a deep breath.

Our journey took us through the Langkloof, then Oudtshoorn, Meiringspoort, De Rust and finally Prince Albert.

At first glance, the Karoo appears to be harsh and unforgiving, however, it is loving, tender, forgiving and enchanting.

Upon our arrival feeling tired, hungry and thirsty we headed off to a wonderful restaurant. A combination of exhaustion and a touch of sadness, I was not able to finish my meal of bobotie and vegetables.  The waitress on clearing my plate looked at me with such compassion and with deep concern asked me why I had not finished my food.  I told her that the meal was delicious, I was just tired.  She continued looking at me with such gentleness and tenderness and said “Are you sure?”   I reassured her that I was fine, and then thanked her for kindness and graciousness.  I realised that this beautiful sensitive soul sensed my sadness.  She “saw” me and I experienced her compassionate generosity of spirit. What a beautiful expression of love in a hard and cynical world.

The next day we just wandered around town, taking in the sights enjoying the ever changing light, the colours and shadows of the surrounding mountains and hills, creating the impression of being cradled and hugged by beauty.

We thoroughly enjoyed visiting the Prince Albert Gallery, showcasing a wonderful collection of local and South African art.

Two pieces by Niel Jonker, an inter-disciplinary sculptor who paints prolifically and resides in the Overberg Hamlet of Baardskeerdersbos, struck me and gripped my heart.

The first piece is a joyful and happy little sculpture of the late Bishop Trevor Huddlestone, an English Anglican bishop who resided in Sophiatown. His criticism and outspoken opposition of the cruelty of apartheid laws, earned him the nickname Makhalipile  (“the dauntless one”).

I particularly love the sense of joy and movement of this piece, in my mind’s eye I visualised a group of children gathered around him seeking acknowledgement and undivided attention.   I spent some time examining that beautiful piece from every angle.

And then we came across another piece by Niel Jonker entitled “Weariness At The Truth” a sensitive depiction of the late Archbishop Tutu’s reaction to the testimony of the late Ernest Malgas  to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission.

It is interesting to note that soon after Desmond Tutu started high school he contracted tuberculosis and spent more than a year in an infirmary. Father Trevor Huddlestone visited him on a regular basis, and out of this a wonderful friendship was born.  Desmond and Nomalizo Leah named the first born child Trevor.

Time spent in that beautiful little gallery was a very healing space for me; I started feeling joyful and light as well as a sense of hope.

Travelling through the Swartberg pass confirmed once again:

“In the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul,
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world“ – Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

It takes courage and strength from time to time to admit “Sadness is on me”, just for a little while, today, “ joy is on me”.

Be kind and gentle with others as well as yourself.