Friends Who Are Trying to Heal

A blog post by guest writer, Candice Millar

We have this preconceived idea that we will heal in a specific amount of time.  That time would literally heal all of our wounds and that healing would move in a linear line. I thought I had a clear divide between the broken version of me and the fixed version of me. What I have learnt though, is that healing will never occur at a specific moment in your timeline. It will not have a distinct ending.

Healing will take place in increments, little by little, each and every day. Some days you will feel stagnant, other days you will feel like you are winning. On the difficult days it will feel like you are literally swimming against a really strong current. You will be on the lookout for answers that sometimes do not even exist. You will go through feelings of loss, loneliness and uncertainty. You will begin to think that something is wrong with you.

But my friend, this is the thing – there is nothing wrong with you.

Healing is not a black and white concept. It is inconsistent. Keep working on it even on the most challenging, impossible days. Take care of yourself even when it is hard. Even when it feels like you are drowning. It can feel heartbreaking, sharp and really painful but there will come a day where your heart will feel lighter again. You will begin to feel free, open and full of hope again. Your life will be restored. You will begin to notice the people who are there to love you, support you and make you feel less alone. You will start to feel capable of healing. These are the moments that you need to hold onto tightly. These moments are going to be the ones that help you find your way again.

Healing happens in the depths of the night when you are fast asleep. Healing happens when you are lying in your bed at 2am, tossing and turning. Healing happens when you read scripture that speaks to you. Healing happens when you go for long walks. Healing happens when you are driving in your car and you hear a sad song on the radio that makes your heart hurt. Healing happens when you wake up every morning without the will to get out of bed and start your day. Healing happens over time. It can happen quietly. Delicately. It then repeats itself, over and over again. It can move really slowly, allowing you the chance to really soak up every bit of pain that you are feeling. Healing never ends.

Healing is so painful but it is also filled with joy. Healing brings contentment, peace and strength. Without pain, we will never grow. You are strong enough to heal. You are strong enough to walk in the freedom that God has called for you.

Be gentle with yourself, my friend. Be gentle with your process. Have faith that things will feel better. Maybe not now but they will. Believe that there is something exciting on the other side of your healing. Trust yourself. Know that you are brave. That you can do this. That you WILL breathe again.

I pray that your heart will begin to feel lighter. That you will see the world with new eyes. That God would provide you with everything that you need to fight through this pain. I pray that you would grow in this process. That you would see yourself for who you really are.

A fighter.

One of my dearest friends, Sara Leask, lost her loving husband in a car accident on the 1st April 2019. Amidst all fear, disappointment, hurt and impossibility during this difficult and raw heartache, her bravery has been the one thing that has stuck out the most for me. The strength that she has carried during this time is like no other. She continues to inspire me and she challenges me to be grateful for everything that I have. She is honest, genuine and is so gracious. I have known her almost all of my life and I am honoured to be a part of every season of her life.

Please watch this video to hear all about her heart on grief and healing. May this give you hope and clarity and may you also know that you are not alone in your grief and pain.

Sara, this post was inspired by you. You are my inspiration.

And lastly, I’d love to share this video of one of my worship role songs. Faith and healing go hand in hand. I hope this brings some inspiration to your day!