Oupa

In My Grandmother’s House

Part Two

Oupa (Grandfather)

Memories are important to us, especially ones that are joyful and happy, as they create a deep sense of connection and belonging.

I have had the privilege of spending time with my “big”, as in older cousin William. We have been entertaining each other with wonderful stories about our grandparents, more especially about our Oupa Joe.

Our Oupa was a farm manager cum foreman, working on sheep farms in the district of Tarkastad, a typical Karoo town set against the dramatic Winterberg Mountains between Cradock and Queenstown.   After retiring from working on farms Oupa, Ouma and Oom Japie (Ouma’s brother) retired to Tarkastad

Oupa never talked about where he was born or where he grew up, we think and surmise that due to the painful memories of a life of extreme poverty, the memory of losing some of his siblings who were  given up for adoption by total strangers, sharing details of his early life would have been so heart-breaking and traumatic for him.   In the late 1800 early 1900’s extreme poverty destroyed the fabric of family life by forcing parents to put their children up for adoption.

Many years later a coincidental meeting between William’s mother, father and some distant relatives set in motion an unbelievable and life changing chain of events. In conversation it was mentioned that my aunt’s maiden name was le Roux, one of the other members of the group said;   “We know a Dawid le Roux!”  With a little more probing and questions it transpired that Dawid was my Oupa’s brother,  who had been given up for adoption as a toddler, they hadn’t seen or heard from each other in approximately fifty years.  Dawid travelled from Benoni to Tarkastad to visit and finally be re-united with Oupa.  According to William it was a highly charged emotional meeting – two elderly gentlemen just holding onto each other and sobbing.  At that point everyone left the room in order to give them time and space to catch up on their lives.  The family resemblance in looks, mannerisms and dress was remarkable, they were unmistakably brothers.   Both gentlemen were very dignified and dapper in that they wore perfectly pressed trousers, braces, well ironed shirts and highly polished shoes.  This meeting was a moment of gratitude and thanksgiving as two brothers were able to finally find each other, however, sadly, the whereabouts of a sister will always remain a mystery.

Oupa’s day was made up of a series of precise rituals and rhythms, in hindsight I think it gave him a sense of security and it also set clear boundaries for all of us in that there was order and organisation.

Breakfast was always a bowl of steaming hot mielie meal porridge served with sugar and milk, the addition of a pat of butter was considered a luxurious treat to be indulged in every now and again.  Oupa’s unique porridge eating ritual fascinated us children to no end. 

He would liberally sprinkle sugar over his serving of porridge and then he would pour a little bit of milk on the outer edge of the bowl, very gently and in a circular movement, spoonful after spoonful, accompanied by a drop or two of milk he would work his way around the bowl to the last spoonful in the middle of the bowl. I have a vivid memory of this, even tried to copy once or twice and then it became a bit messy.  In Oupa’s opinion haphazardly mixing the milk and sugar over a bowl of porridge was a very unwise option;  “why on earth would you want to burn your mouth.”  Porridge was followed by a mug of moer koffie that had been prrriting and brewing away  on the Aga stove since early morning.  Oom Japie and Oupa would retire to the stoep, sitting on an old abandoned back seat of the car that served as a bench of sorts; they would light their pipes and discuss the “daily” tasks assigned to them by Ouma who, from the confines of her large brass bed issued instructions left, right and centre.  For all intents and purposes Ouma decided that she was “bedridden”, therefore we all had to do as we were told.

Donning his hat and grabbing a wicker shopping basket, armed with a list of instructions, he would make his way to Mr Pillay’s general dealer store to purchase whatever was needed for the smooth running of the home.  I loved accompanying Oupa to that shop, there is a distinct and comforting smell to a general dealer’s store – a delightful mixture of aromas and smells of coffee, soap and tobacco.   Oom Japie on the other hand, would make his way to his sister Cora’s house where he would fill a two litre milk can with fresh milk and then get a supply of fresh fruit from the orchard.  On occasion Oom Japie would work the household vegetable patch, weeding in between the rows of carrots, potatoes, cabbages, tomatoes and onions, or simply harvesting produce required for lunch.

I am being very detailed and specific in the telling of this story, highlighting that time seemed to stretch on forever, life was unhurried, folks stopped to chat and share recipes, even the latest tip on how to cure almost anything by simply using Dr Lennon’s vast range of medication or better still a drop of brandy, freshly squeezed lemon juice and farm honey mixed together in boiling water would stop any germ in its track.

After our afternoon nap and just before supper Oupa would regale us with stories of his working life, how he had to erect and repair fences between farms as well as fences on the farm dividing sheep camps.  His mode of transport was a wagon and six oxen.  One day the oxen refused to budge, Oupa walked to the lead oxen only to discover a huge snake slithering across the pathway.  During lambing season, which happens between autumn and spring, they would be kept so busy protecting the ewes and the new born lambs in warm and safe large sheep sheds.  Midwinter was always a very difficult time for farmers, especially when it snowed.

We were always fascinated to hear how the baboons got up to all kinds of pranks by stealing pumpkins, fruit and mielies. 

Oom Japie would play his mouth organ and then it was supper time and the seven o’clock news.

To be continued…………..