Walk in the Light

Dear Family and Friends

I would like to thank each and every one of you for wonderful, kind and thoughtful messages celebrating George’s 70^th birthday.  He had a grand day indeed.  

I have a brand new spanking state of the art pacemaker. This incredible piece of medical equipment is a wonderful invention that prevents potentially life-threatening complications, for people like me, who have irregular heartbeats live a “normal and happy” life. It is estimated that more than three million people worldwide have pacemakers.  Folks, I am grateful for mine; it keeps my alive and because of it I can and do live my life to the fullest.

Better watch out, here I come…….

My pacemaker is placed under the skin on the right hand side of my upper body (slightly under my clavicle, from the pacemaker there are three leads that prompt my heart to beat (not too fast or too slow) but in rhythm.   I am giving you a very basic description of how all of this works.   Because of where the pacemaker is placed and that fact that it has leads attached to it I, therefore (for a few days) have a very limited use of my right arm.  I cannot lift my arm, swing it around or even lift objects.  I have to try and keep it very still, so therefore I need a lot of help in getting dressed, I cannot have a shower, the list goes on and it becomes rather tricky, because invariably I am in fair amount of pain and in a bad mood.   Thank goodness for my kind and loving husband, and a cousin who is spending time with us, my faithful dogs and loads of wonderful books.

My recovery period also means that I have had plenty of time to think and reflect on a world that just seems to have gone mad and is seemingly imploding.

Conscious sedation is the preferred method of sedation in such a procedure.  I also had to have a temporary pacemaker placed in my groin while they changed the pacemaker.  For all intents and purposes and as far as I was concerned I was asleep, I mean in a really deep sleep. 

According to the theatre staff, I kept them very entertained.  Apparently I told my cardiologist that I loved him (blushing deep red as I relate this story);  I said some choice swearwords of the kind starting with “f”, as well as the Afrikaans word for “thunder” – not once, but several times.  Oh horror of horrors!

I am mortified, utterly mortified!  I think what scared me the most is this, in my opinion I was fast asleep, yet, while in a semi-conscious state I engaged with the theatre staff.

My experience in the theatre got me thinking about innocent youngsters who go out to a club or a restaurant for a night of fun and jollification.  Whilst laughing, eating, drinking, dancing and generally enjoying themselves when someone with evil intentions spikes their drink with drugs (very similar experience to being consciously sedated);  who then violate, sexually assault and rape that unsuspecting youngsters (men and women)  while someone else films the whole ordeal and distributes these clips to pornographic sites.  

Real darn scary stuff! 

But hey!  Singularly, I can’t change the world.  However, by ditching or limiting my time on social media, I can stop being angry, and frightened and learn how to re-connect with fellow travellers by using my energy to pray, change my attitude by being kind and positive and hopeful and by reminding myself and others that it is time to create space with the poor, lonely, marginalised and the stranger by welcoming them to sit “at my table”; where we can re-connect by talking about real life issues, impart skills and knowledge.

We just have to do better in finding creative ways to meaningfully engage with each other, stop following the crowd.

More importantly, I believe it’s time to stand up and quietly speak our truth by speaking against racism, sexism and hatred.  And hopefully build a better society,

By seeking to walk in the light………..

Walk in the light – walk in the light

Beautiful light (well it’s a beautiful light)

Come where the dewdrops of mercy shine bright

Shine all around us by day and by night    – Aretha Franklin