Connectedness

“We are all interconnected, seeking connection with someone or something.”

Our basic human need to feel and to pursue connections that are mutually beneficial to us is a need we pursue daily. We do it intentionally, we do it subconsciously and we do it without considering the consequences. I don’t believe we were placed on this earth to live out our lives in isolation. There is a famous quote that says “no man (or woman) is an island“. Anyone devoid of human touch or human interaction for a protracted period has undoubtedly experienced some form of existential disconnect and release from reality that would prove such a quote speaks the truth.

Research shows that babies in the womb have the emotional and intuitive capabilities to sense their parents’ love. Apparently, prenates can see, hear, feel, remember, taste, and think before birth. How incredible is that? Proof enough, that even before we are revealed to the world, we are willing and able to connect with others.

Think for a minute what this means. Close your eyes. Imagine darkness of the womb enveloping you. Imagine the muffled sounds of the world around you. Imagine, if you would, that you are completely devoid of every human experience, life lesson or memory you take for granted now. You have a clean slate, a “day zero”, a completely clear and open mind. For all intents and purposes, you know absolutely nothing about the world you are about to enter into or the people who inhabit it. You have no experience of rejection, ridicule or judgment.

But understand this – your MOST NATURAL instinct, your very first act of love is to CONNECT with your mom and dad and invite them to connect with you. Can you think of any instance more pure of heart, anything more unconditional than that single, almost insignificant human act?

Now, fast forward through your prepubescence, your teens, your young adulthood, your heartaches, your mistakes, your trials and tribulations, your failures and successes and your adult life. Consider, if you will, the sheer amount of connections you have made with beings crossing your path at every turn – your family, your preschool mates, your school mates, your girlfriends, boyfriends, pets, colleagues, strangers and nemeses. All along this path, a path that has taken you from inception to this written piece, you have forged friendships, overcome hardships and lost and found relationships based upon your own understanding of how to connect with those around you. You have navigated a sea of unknowns using your incremental knowledge of how to interact with other beings walking different paths. You may be compassionate, you may be antisocial, but you have managed, at some point, to forge alliances, unify others and connect with someone on some level.

Sometimes your connections are forced, other times natural – occasionally awkward. The number of connections you have now is directly proportional to the effort you put into each and every one of those connections. And, regardless of the consequences of each and every successful and failed connection, you have strived for real connections with real meaning.

We are all interconnected, seeking connection with someone or something. We are all inherently unique in our own right and we all bring with us a unique set of gifts that we should be using to progress the human race. Some of us would explain that the human desire to connect comes from a deeper place of wanting to fit in, to share an experience and to belong. That it is a basic human need. That it is an inherent biological re-enactment of forming families, memories, and legacies. Yet for some reason, a lot of us choose not to do so. We choose to deny the rest of us the opportunity of experiencing the power and love within us. Instead, we choose to shield ourselves from the rest of the world and live a life of solitude.

Why do we do this? Are we ashamed that our gifts might not be as blessed as those of the next person? Do we fear that by making ourselves vulnerable when opening our hearts to someone else we may lose a piece of ourselves in the aftermath of a broken connection?

Let us take these questions a little deeper…

We spend our lives connecting with each other, forming a network of connections spanning whole cities, cultures, and communities. We connect socially with friends at parties, colleagues at meetings and family on special occasions.

Then we go home. Disconnected from the human condition. Far removed from the chaos of life, the excitement of new connections and the connectedness of being connected. We sit in our cars, lie awake in our bedrooms and contemplate our lives in the shower. And then our fears start creeping in, our worries and all the things that we ignored while we were too busy distracting ourselves come bearing down on us with staggering force.

Our minds wander to bad break-ups, bad news from doctors, bad fights with family members, bad connections we made whilst naïvely navigating what we thought were healthy ones…

We start questioning: am I pretty enough/thin enough/clever enough/good enough? Am I enough?

Our minds slowly crawl across a space populated with the spiny fears of inadequacy, the insidiousness of self-doubt, the mind-numbing consequences of regretful actions.

We suddenly find ourselves faced with a terrible realization. For all our attempts at forcing a human connection, we are alone. The happiness we so habitually harvested from others’ company is all but depleted and we are inevitably confronted with the burning boredom, the soul-searching silence, the eerie environment that is our own company.

Have you ever wondered why this is? Why is connectedness so fleeting? Why could we feel so on top of the world when we are in it, yet so bereft of colour when we are disconnected from it?

How about considering the fact that we rely on connections with others for happiness? That we rely on the trappings of the modern age to fill our cups? That we search for compliments and scratch for happiness in all of the wrong places? That while we are so deeply infatuated with connecting with every single person and thing around us we forget three very crucial questions:

• What are we connecting with when we are not connecting with others?
• From where are we drawing our own power to connect?
• How can we continue to connect with others and power their lives if our own connection is unplugged at the source?

The very simple answer is that we are unplugged from the Universe (or our Creator). We have lost that connection and as a result, we find ourselves alone and insignificant, bereft of the energy we require to ensure our own happiness.

The comforting twist in all of this is that each and every one of us serves a greater purpose. How do I know this? Because you have met all manner of people in your short existence on this earth and not once did you meet someone who didn’t shape or mold you into the person you are today. In every path crossed, in every eye met, in every soul searched, in every tear shed, you have stolen a thought, accepted a gift, experienced a shift and added another layer of depth to a narrative that keeps surprising you, evolving you and you are a much better version of yourself for having been through it.

I try and make it a habit of asking myself a question each one of us should be asking ourselves. How am I positively impacting the lives of those I am connecting with around me? And even more importantly, how am I positively impacting my OWN life with the connection I have with the Universe or my Creator? How much shaping and molding am I allowing it to inject into MY life so that I may shape and mold the lives of others?

I want to inspire! I want to appreciate! I want to offer you the kindness and compassion you need to do the same! I want the best for you. I do that by drawing positive energy from the Universe around me and sharing it with you. And so do those who profess to love you. And so does the Universe and your Creator.

Take a moment to disconnect from the world around you and reconnect with yourself. When you align with the Universe, you fuel your own positivity, allowing you to brighten the lives of those who cross your path.

How do you connect with the Universe or your Creator?

• take time to be alone,
• practice mindfulness,
• spend less time in your head and more time in your feelings,
• ruthlessly reject negative thoughts from entering your mind,
• appreciate the here and now,
• actively engage in affirming your own gifts and attributes,
• do not dwell on the past, save to learn its lesson for the future,
• make it clear in your mind what it is you want…what it is you are willing to give in return, and
• be laser focused in doing all you can to meet it.

It is only from connecting with others, connecting with ourselves and reconnecting with the Universe or our Creator that we may reach a much higher plane of happiness and an authentic feeling of contentment. This is our purpose. This is our gift. We need to share it.