Alexia and Allegra

I started writing this piece a month ago, before life, medical procedures and hospitals became a priority.   Fortunately we are in a calm and healing space and the adrenalin rush is over.  

I owe it to these two young women to tell them what they mean to me.

Two Young Women………..

Who happen to be my heroes!

Allow me to introduce you to Alexia and Allegra.

Alexia is a cousin and Allegra is my Goddaughter

Both of them are similar yet different.

They are interesting, engaging and charming.

Allegra a reticent yet bold and brave young woman has just completed her Masters in International Relations.  Allegra has always impressed me as she is interested in people from all walks of life; is unshakeable and will not be swayed into doing anything that goes against her principles.

Allegra completed her studies at the University of Leiden, Netherlands.  I have such a healthy respect for Allegra’s mother who has made a life for herself working in Italy, she has singlehandedly paid for her daughter’s tuition.

Alexia has a commanding presence, feisty and confident, she is a qualified commercial pilot and flight instructor. Operating in a male dominated industry Alexia has proved that she is not a pushover and has set tight parameters in how she is treated.  Her mother is George’s first cousin. 

Alexia’s late grandmother is George’s aunt.  Cypriot by birth, she played a role in the resistance to British Occupation in Cyprus.  Feisty and unflinching she carried messages that were exchanged between freedom fighters in her shoes.  Alexia’s grandparents owned a shop in Fort Beaufort.  Everybody in the district knew and loved those kind and caring folk. Her daughters and granddaughters have inherited their mother’s and grandmother’s indomitable spirit and so has Alexia.

Both these young women are mature and wise beyond their years.  They are highly principled, bold andcaring.  They have a deep understanding of the world, they are aware of conflict, war zones and division.  Each, in their own way wishes to make a contribution to being part of lasting peaceful solutions. 

I love them…..

I love their boldness, they are spunky, and they push barriers and boundaries.  They are interesting, playful and at times so refreshingly childlike. 

Are they arrogant – of course they are!

Are they stubborn yes, and I hope they will continue to be so.

They are warrior women and daughters of my heart, they are my tribe.

It is said that the older generation teaches and nurtures the younger generation.  We give them guidance and hopefully we set good examples to the younger generation of how to be good solid citizens.  In our interactions with them we share our hopes, challenges and dreams.  We share our triumphs and our failures.  We also love dispensing advice on how life should work, as well as how to navigate the world as well as how they should behave.

However …..

The most important lesson I have learned from interacting with Allegra, Alexia, Ibanathi and Tebogo and many other young people I have the privilege of knowing is this.

Whilst they may appear to be bold, brave and techno savvy, they are sometimes frightened because the world is a hostile, cruel and often times unkind, and they are left feeling bereft and disappointed, because    maybe an adult or the system has failed them. 

Sometimes when they are feeling lost and fearful they reach out me.   I have learned that they don’t want answers or solutions.  All that is required of me is just to sit and listen – just listen without offering advice or solutions.  Sometimes it requires a double thick milkshake and a shoulder to lean on whilst they offload and sometimes it’s a phone call from the other side of the world or a chance meeting in a coffee shop.

Alexia and Allegra thank you for teaching me one of the most important lessons of my life and that is – sometimes all you want me to do is just listen to you.

There’s wisdom in that lesson and I earnestly pray that I will continue to honour that sacred space where someone talks and the other person listens and in that act, offers a safe place for both parties to grow.