Growing Old…

In conversation with a group of friends we starting discussing our aches and pains and how old age just creeps up, jumps on us and takes us by surprise. 

One of our friends Neale Mohle summed it up beautifully and I quote:

“Throughout my life I was prepared, to some degree, for certain milestones.  What my 21^st birthday would mean, further studies, finding a soulmate and settling down. These are all the landmark events in our lives.

However, no one ever told me what to expect of old age, other than I should save for my retirement and I guess old age.  That distant eventuality was shrouded in a false image of  a well-earned reward, one filled with sitting on the porch, radiating a beatific smile of achievement and freedom, the prospect of endless travel and spoiling grandchildren.

Let me tell you it arrives as an unexpected shock.  You wake up one morning thinking that you are having an off day, only the symptoms never leave, they rapidly worsen and there you are – old! You are faced with an inadequate health system that grinds along too slowly to be of much comfort in your race to the finish line.  Your days are spent in discomfort and anxiety as well as an overwhelming realisation that the well-earned final vacation is little more than coping whilst putting on a brave face.  There are sure to be exceptions but please don’t assume it will be you.  Be prepared……. Forewarned is forearmed.  Stock up on Brandy, younger friends, painkillers, walking sticks and an indomitable sense of humour!”

My Cousin William turns eighty in May, he has taken good care of himself,  is extremely health conscious, he maintains  that the secret to a long and healthy life is  cut out sugar, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and exercise.  William agrees with Neale, old age catches up with us in the most unexpected ways, and suddenly we are old. 

However William said:   “Maybe we should take the advice of three wonderful l women I befriended years ago,  they were  of the opinion that we should live life precariously – on the edge and to the extreme. 

Drink loads of wine, champagne or whatever poison we care to indulge in.  Eat deliciously unhealthy food in abundance.  Dance wildly, travel extensively and wear outlandish outfits!  Kick up our heels and just live!”

Two of these women were in their late eighties and the other in her early nineties.  According to William they smoked, drank whiskey, enjoyed a good party, ate whatever they fancied and laughed a lot.

I like the sound of those three honest women.

I so believe that we need to heed the insights and advice of both Neale and William.

George’s recent sojourn in hospital and subsequent recovery at home has taught me many lessons.

I am grateful that George is alive and is recovering so well. 

My late mother used to say “Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think”, so very wise and true because old age does creep up on us and suddenly we are aware of all kinds of aches and pains.

I think what I am trying to say is that we should stop stressing about things we don’t have control over.  Focus on and concentrate on things that matter and are important, like staring at and enjoying the colours of sunset, and then to watch the moon rise, just being present and in the moment.

This growing old malarkey is scary and I am not trying to make light of it at all or be disrespectful.

 However, in order to cope with our aches, pains and ailments, maybe, just maybe, we should strike up conversations with strangers, smile at children and wave at people passing by and stop being pretentious – money can’t buy us happiness and it certainly can’t buy a long and healthy life. 

Toxic people and relationships, people who use, abuse and are disrespectful, need to go.  All of us need loving, supportive, fun and intentional friends, respectful and at the same time caring and happy.

The past is the past, I need to learn to let it go.

Those distant places we always dreamed of visiting, well buy that ticket and go.

Laugh loud and raucously, tell our nearest and dearest that we love them, be silly and happy.

We need to enjoy ourselves it’s later than we think.