Step up and be better…
“Women should just not pitch up for work”. I said. In conversation with my husband and a group of friends I suggested that the only way to get men to listen to the plight of women, to stop violence and abuse, was to embark on a strike. One dear soul responded, very impatiently I might add by stating that our little strike wouldn’t make any difference at all.
“Is that so” I responded.
“Chaps, I have news for you.”
“Let’s pretend the strike is tomorrow and that every single woman of all races, ages and creeds were out on the streets picketing. Who is going to make breakfast and get everyone ready for school, college and work? My voice dripping with sarcasm I said: and when you drop them off at school only to realise that school is closed for the day because all the women teachers are out on strike. You then rush off to your place of employment. Oh oops, chaos!!!!! Phones are ringing, all the men are scurrying around trying to answer phones, look after their children who by now are hungry and crying…………….Chaos I tell you there will be chaos and oh yes by 10:00 the stock exchange will collapse – the whole country from parliament to ordinary homes in the burbs will be a mess.
They were all shocked, into silence, while I stood there glowering at them. I said:” do you still want to laugh and make light of this?”
I think it’s time we took a long hard radical look at patriarchy and smash it once and for all. Patriarchy affects how we conduct ourselves in our homes, schools, churches and society in general.
It also affects how we bring up our children.
In some households boys are everything – they don’t have to lift a finger, poor darlings! While their sisters have to wait on them, do the dishes, babysit younger siblings and sometimes even cook and clean.
And while we are discussing patriarchy I do believe we need to challenge the church in its oppression of women.
How dare you tell us that we need to be submissive and that we must be silent in church – how dare you!
I challenge you to show us where Jesus of Nazareth said that wives need to submit to their husbands. Please show us – book, chapter and verse. You can’t because He never said so.
So please stop this really dreadful theology! Please put your time and efforts to good use by re-educating your congregations and followers- tell them the truth. Please start speaking up. Please address femicide and that murdering a woman is not on. It is just not on. If you don’t want to be with someone – divorce…
Please teach your sons that “No” means No! Please tell them to stop their caterwauling whenever they see women walking in the streets, or out and about in the malls.
“Every three hours, one of us does not make it!
Let that sit with you. Not a metaphor. Not a line in a poem.
A statistic. A scream. A tombstone.
Every three hour in South Africa, a woman in murdered.
Not because she was reckless. But because she existed.
This isn’t just a quote. It’s our reality.
It’s a reminder that we are not safe – not yet. And not enough is being done” Koleka Putuma
An urgent intervention by the state, the church at large, schools and other institutions is desperately needed. All of us need to discuss violence against girls and women.
We all need to embark on some serious introspection and be better – all of us, grandfathers, grandmothers, fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, lawyers, doctors, clergy, bricklayers, electricians – you name it – everybody today, now, urgently put an end to this scourge.
If this falls on deaf ears – and I am hoping that it won’t, then please be prepared for the likelihood of women disrupting every church service and council meeting, everywhere, in potent protest.
#smash patriarchy
#converse with your children – they are far more exciting than your mobile phones
#Stop hurting women and girls
#stop femicide
2 comments
GEORGE
The blight on our society – or may I call it a pandemic – that is Gender Based Violence, should shame us all.
By all, I am referring to both Males and Females.
While we all accept that the majority of the perpetrators are male and this is, under no circumstance, acceptable and should be condemned by all , specially males – there is another blame to be acknowledged here.
In many households, boy children are treated as little princes, normally at the expense of their sisters. this treatment is not given to them by their fathers only, but also by the their mothers ( they appear to be able to do no wrong in their mothers’ eyes)
How does one change the mindset of a person (and in this case males) that has been brought up believing that they are ”INDEED SUPERIOR “”?
The only way this changes is by starting at home – Yes Mothers -your male children are not better than your female children – they are in fact equal.
Mothers and Fathers out there, treat all children as equals and maybe, just maybe, we will make a start in fighting GBV.
Just my thoughts
Gail Charalambous
Thank you George for your very honest opinion and yes, we need to be aware and take heed.